CPE Essay on Youth Culture

Essay

The following essay was submitted by John, from the Neatherlands. A couple of small corrections can be found in colour red.

Essay on Youth Culture 

The term ‘youth culture’ found its name in the 1960s. Young people changed their views on several aspects of daily life. There are also people who have tried to figure out what ‘youth culture’ involves. Both texts emphasizes style and innovations.

Bad Restaurant Review

Hello everybody. I received this "Bad Restaurant Review" from Alberto, who is studying for the Oficial School of Languages C2 English exam in Spain. I have posted his writing with some feedback in red. In general I think there are some positive points in his document like organising the text into paragraphs and addressing different aspects (location, service, quality of food,...) but some improvement needs to be done: the vocabulary is from B2/C1, not C2 and the style is rather informal and aggressive.

Bad restaurant review.

Yesterday I had the unpleasant experience of attending to one of the most overrated restaurants on the coast of Valencia. The name Its name, should you know, is “Els pins” and it is located on a kind of waste land which they have the audacity to call landscape. (In my opinion a little too aggressive. Check if  the use of "attend to" is correct).

Once inside, you are greeted with the most distasteful furniture. The tables and chairs are simply dreadful and as for the table cloths there is only one thing to be said and is that they are made of paper. There is no doubt that in this establishment, functionality is more important than any kind of style. (Once again a little too harsh, which makes it sound childish/unprofessional to me, like written by an angry teenager)

The service is the sort one that one would expect form a fast food chain, but without its speed and simplicity. The waitresses (all females) were more concerned about how they looked rather than who to look. It seemed like a competition and the one to take the longest time attending a table was the winner. ("who to look" not clear what you mean)

After having endured all this nonsense, the thought of enjoying a good meal seemed to me impossible, this is when things turned really interesting. We ordered the infamous dish paella, we thought, what can go wrong? after all, we are in Valencia birth place of rice dishes in Spain. What it was presented to us was an unrecognisable mash of what seemed to be a mixture of rice vegetables and a lonely chicken breast. At this point I had to convince myself into trying it. You know when they say, trust your first instincts. Well, I should have followed that advice. The moment I put the spoon into my mouth it felt like an explosion. It was as spicy as a Tabasco soup. (Even thought it is a negative review, you could try softening it and making it more respectful. Also, the use of "you know" and the use of questions, make it very informal, and I don't know if this is a good idea).

At this time, I had enough of this torture and asked for the check. To my surprise the previously deceptive waitresses came alive and rushed with the check as if their life depended on it.  I won´t comment on the price because whoever pays to be taken for a fool deserves to be one. Never again will I lay eyes on this sorry excuse of a restaurant. It is banned from my list and so it should be from anyone´s.

363 words.

CPE Essay on unsustainable tourism

Hi again! I just got this essay sample from John, from the Neatherlands. I post it below together with the task and some feedback. As always, feel free to comment below.

Essay on unsustainable tourism

                                                                                                                              Feedback in red

Enjoying a holiday after a period of hard work is what most people appreciate. Once the journey has been taken place to a particular holiday destiny you become a tourist at a place where more travellers can be found. Such crowded places cannot always manage these waves of people during a certain period and that is what both texts have in common. (Consider re-writing the intro. I don't see much connection between the lines. Second line also sounds "unnatural" to me).

Text one states that an engulfment of tourists causes problems in a variety of aspects. One of them is the rubbish people leave behind on the beaches or elsewhere in nature. Cities and villages are jam-packed with cars and other vehicles as well as public buildings are crammed with itinerants. Last but not least is the alteration of jobs of the local inhabitants. All this could be a problem although it also could have benefits. Newly started jobs like cleaners, tour guides, public transport drivers and hotel employees are examples of how to turn the downside into a positive view. Therefore an open-mind set is needed. (Check "engulfment of tourists", never heard that before. "...elsewhere in nature" seems like your vocabulary repertoire is limited. I also see the task is full of advanced vocabulary while your text is rather simple).

Text two mentions that before touristic spots turn into enticing places they are first negatively developed because of the damage tourists can cause. The amelioration of such places has most of the time more to do with the public view rather than with an long-lasting improvement. In my opinion, the focus should be on a long-term policy which attracts more holidaymakers in the future. This will enhance the sustainability of a touristic area. (Consider re-writing the paragraph. I don't think it summurises the essence of text two)

In conclusion, where travellers pay a visit to a specific region during the same period this can lead to certain difficulties. When the locals have a growth-mind set they are able to tackle these problems. (Way too vague!)

Dear John, I am sorry to say that you need to step it up ! Best regards and the best of luck in the exam!

CAE Letter to a friend

Hallo everybody, this time I have a post from Clemente, who is taking the CAE exam next month. I find his sample very well-written and an excellent example of an effective use of idioms in informal writing. 

Writing task

You have received a letter from an English friend:

My new job is great, and next month I get to travel on business. Guess what - I'm actually coming to your town for a week! I'll be free some evenings and one weekend. I want to make the most of this opportunity, so I'd like your advice please: where to go, what to do, and why?

Cheers,

Chris

Write your letter in reply. You do not need to include postal addresses.

"""

Feedback in red

Dear Chris

It's so nice to hear from you! Congrats on the new opportunity that you have to travel on business. You know, the moment I read you were coming to my town, I went like "OMG, that's brilliant!". I'm chuffed to bits, truly! I hope we can get to spend some time together to catch up and chew the fat.

Anyway, while you are here, you can't miss Areadocks; I'm sure you will have a ball there. Areadocks is a really fancy pub right in the centre of the city, where everybody is always dressed to kill and the food is absolutely scrumptious! I mean, you're a foodie and always very elegantly dressed, so this is your place, man. You must give Areadocks a go!

Also, you may want to check out the big bookshop near the main theatre of the city. For a bookworm like you, Libraccio is unmissable. I bet you'll feel like in a fairy tale when you enter Libraccio. You're going to find tons of books - both new and second-hand - which are not very expensive. The staff there is incredibly friendly and competent. I mean, ok, if you work in a bookshop you should know about books, right? But mate, the people who work there are not human! The second you tell them you're looking for this or that title, they start giving you loads of facts on the book, the author, the plot, the characters, AND the publishing house, too! UNBELIEVABLE! (Consider checking if ""unmissable" works well there)

All right, I guess that's all for now. Please do let me know when you arrive here so we can meet up somewhere.

Looking forward to seeing you, mate!

Take care,

Clemente

(279 words)

CAE Essay on "who should receive the money?"

Hallo zusammen! I just received a message from Clemente, who is taking the CAE exam next month. Here there is the essay that he sent me, together with some feedback in red.

Writing Task

WHICH FACILITIES SHOULD RECEIVE MONEY FROM LOCAL AUTHORITIES?

- Museums

- Sports centres

- Public gardens

SOME OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THE DISCUSSION

Museums aren't popular with everybody!

Sports centre mean healthier people.

A town needs green spaces - parks are great for everybody

Write an essay discussing two of the facilities in your notes. You should explain which facility it is more important for local authorities to give money to, giving reasons in support of your answer.

You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should use your own words as far as possible.

Here's the essay.

                                         MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

In today's world, hardly a day goes by when we do not hear without us hearing of recreational centres such as clubs, cinemas or amusement parks being provided with plenty of money in order to offer the best services on the market. However, are these the only facilities which should receive money? (Is it so? where? who provides the money? how much? why?)

First and foremost, I feel local authorities ought to consider the invaluable role museums play: a museum is the only way we have to dive into our past, our history, our forebear's way of life. Unfortunately, we - victims of an "e-world", where what we used to watch in fantasy movies has now become reality - are beginning to drift away from these precious facilities.

However, to my mind, museums should receive money so as to draw more and more people with a view to learning and becoming familiar with ancient cultures and traditions.(Not sure if museums are "the only way" to dive into our past, but I think you can find a better argument, and maybe mention the world "children" somewhere).

On the other hand, green spaces are losing their appeal, as well. Some public gardens, unfortunately, have now become a sad depiction of people's inconsiderateness towards nature: places filled with plastic, cigarette butts and little ponds full of everything but clear water and lovely fish. I strongly believe local authorities ought to provide public gardens with funds in order to render them clean and appealing for tourists, as well as for the people who go jogging or those who simply wish to recharge their batteries and escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. (Check grammar there. Maybe also use words like "sustainability" or "global.warming"...) 

All in all, if I were a member of a city council, I would undoubtedly give priority to museums; I would endeavour to try and start new stimulating projects, as these centres allow us to go on terrific tours of our history, thanks to which we can learn a lot about our origins and how we have reached our modern era. (Well...it doenst make much sense. In the last paragraph you said we need to save parks and in the end you recommend giving the money to the museum. Make up your mind!)

If you have a writing to submitt please hurry up! The CAE and CPE exam are coming soon!

Remember you can contact me now also on social media! That is true, I am going techy. :)

Insta: Albarracin8015  

CPE Essay on conventions imposed by society

With the CPE exam coming soon, I have started to receive some emails asking for help. Well, I am glad to give you a hand! 

The following CPE sample was submitted by Donato. In the following lines you can see the task, the writing and some feedback in colour red.

Writing Task

Shifting sands: behavioural change 

Nowadays, in some cultures there may often be confusion between generations about what is
acceptable behaviour in certain situations. Older people sometimes complain, for example, about the real or imagined rudeness of others, such as in the use of electronic devices in public places. However, the younger generation do not regard electronic communication as intrusive, but rather as fundamental to their way of life. Only increased mutual understanding is likely to resolve potential conflict or confusion in any society. In this case, as in all others, it pays to be aware of other people’s points of view. 

Follow my leader? 

Should we always aim to do what society expects of us? No, what society needs is individuality. Worrying about what other people think inhibits enthusiasm and creativity. Nothing new is ever achieved by conforming to expected social norms. This is not only true for society’s innovators: everybody needs a strong sense of their own worth as an individual. This is essential for psychological well-being and the ability to function effectively in one’s personal and professional life. Paying too much attention to society’s conventions can be counter-productive in these and other ways.  

Essay on conventions imposed by society

Both texts deal with the modern issue of conventions imposed by society. (Is this your introduction, half a line? too short!)

The first text emphasises the gap between what was considered socially acceptable some years ago and the current trends. For instance, walking about with your eyes glued to a monitor is commonplace nowadays, but older generations who have had a different upbringing consider it contemptible. This leads to misunderstandings and, in the worst case scenario, even to conflicts. The only way to prevent such phenomena is to raise awareness of other people’s points of view and respect them. (Somehow I don't like the use of theverb "emphasise" in the first sentence.  Maybe a preposition is missing? Pls check on that.)

Conversely, the author of the second text champions individualism and highlights how crucial it is to innovation. If we were always expected to play by an extremely strict set of rules, our creativity and critical thinking skills would be stifled and no progress would come of this. Furthermore, the text makes particular mention of the benefits that thinking with our own mind can have on our mental well-being and career. (Crucial to or crucial for? I believe it is crucial for + noun)

Living in the era of globalization, we have to come to terms with the world views of people from all walks of life and, therefore, it is imperative that we exert some of the tolerance mentioned in the first text. However, this does not have to happen at the expense of our own individuality which we have to nurture and preserve. Being ourselves when we are in a private environment and observing social norms when we are in public is surely a good compromise that will enhance the quality of our lives in the long term.

If anybody notices any other mistake or would like to provide some feedback to Donato, pls dont hesitate to write. You can also write me or follow me via Insta now: albarracin8015 or in Facebook: CPEsamplewritings Fanpage.