Thursday, 2 March 2017

CPE Writing correction and feedback

Hola Gustavo, he leido en tu blog que corriges writings, te mando el mio para ver si me lo podrías corregir. 
Muchas gracias!

Fernando Diez-Heppe


TASK: An international travel magazine is running a series of articles on alternatives to travelling by plane. The magazine has invited readers to send in articles briefly describing a memorable long-distance train or bus journey they have made. The article should explain the advantages of travelling a long distance by train or bus and consider whether in general travelling to your destination more slowly may result in a more satisfying travel experience.
Write your article.


UNEXPECTED TRAVEL 
(Feedback: I don't see a connection between the title and the text)

I was on the verge of booking about to book a rather expensive plane-ticket to Berlin sit when I recalled something that my sister had said the week before. She insisted on suggested something I had never even considered thought of. 'Why don´t you go by train?' she told me. And due to a belief that I am still unable to understand, 
I was in a budget and kind of looking forward to an adventure, so I decided to give it a try.


What I first considered was the economical price of the ticket, and that was, definitely, a happy advantage. First thing I'd like to state is that it was considerable cheaper thatn the plane. However, the best part of it, which came as a surprise, was travelling by train was not saving some euros but the unexpected comfort and the fun of it the train and its passengers provided me with. They were relaxed and silent There was plenty of room for my rather long legs and the passengers were even quiet and well-behaved (there were no crying babies). Additionally, as the train was electric, there was no annoying mechanic noise but the sound the wheels made. which allowed me to read my book in peace.

However, what relieved me more than any other thing, was the fact that I was travelling Another significant advantage of not travelling by plane is that trains are eco-friendly. Yes, it is true that it is a long 15-hour-journey but you can travel with a clean conciousness as no air is being polluted while you travel. Plus the last wagon of the train, offers a bar, with affordable meals and drinks and the opportunity to socialize with other passengers.

As you can see, in this case, there was nothing but advantages. As a consequence of the large amount of time that I spent there, I met new people and had time to have a relaxed journey. Apart from that, getting to travel eco-friendly means a great deal to the environment, therefore, it is rather satisfying.


Feedback
Dear Fernando, to be totally honest, you need to improve your grammar and vocabulary for the CPE exam. 

The CPE exam is very demanding and they expect you to write a text with very advanced features of the language. 

I invite you to continue working on your writings. Please keep in touch and recommend the blog to your friends.