Monday, 30 January 2017

CPE writing correction: Essay


Hi Gustavo,

I'm sending you my first essay I wrote for Part 1 of the writing test. This must be the hardest part of the exam since I have no reliable way of knowing just how good my writing is and what grade it will merit. So any feedback will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Best Regards,
George 

P.S. Pay no heed to the title, it was a joke between me and my teacher :)

 Oxford's Proficiency Masterclass Oxford's Proficiency Masterclass



Burn the zoos! Hang the keepers!
(unabridged version. also the only one)


Does conservation justify incarceration? That is a dilemma zoo opponents raise. Crammed zoo enclosures, they say, are hardly appropriate for wild animals which regularly exhibit physical and mental discomfort in captivity. On the other hand, those in defense of zoos insist that they are instrumental in keeping animal extinction at bay.

Our understanding of animals has come a long way from perceiving them as mindless automations. Today, we are well aware of the fact that their inner world is every bit as sophisticated as even our own. Can we then in good conscience continue to deprive them of their freedom, knowing full well the anguish this entails?

Writing correction Report for CAE exam

Dear CPESamplewritings, 
please read my Report and give me some feedback.

Regards
Rita Cotrim

Task
You belong to an international film club and have been asked to write a report for the club members including information about the main events held over the last twelve months, the present plans for activities in the coming years and a summary of the current financial position of the club in respect of money received and payments made.


Title? (Feedback: write a title)

Introduction

The aim of this report is to outline the activities we made over the last year and to present our fellow club members our future prospects. (Info about finances is missing, see task)

Main events held last year

First of all, monthly film sessions were organised throughout the year. These sessions were very successful among our club members and got recognised by a cinema magazine.
Furthermore, last year was our 20th anniversary, therefore we were kindly sponsored by DigitalFilms to create a campaign to promote their new film and to celebrate our anniversary. 

Besides this event, a Christmas party was organised and it was a very happy day, where members exchanged gifts and shared a beautiful dinner. (try to use more advanced vocabulary)


Future plans

After gathering all the club’s staff, we came up with new activities for the coming year, such as monthly excursions to a different film club, a film festival and the possibility of opening a new club. (paragraph too short compared with the others)

Finances

It is safe to say that the past year was by far our best year financially. As a result of signing a new contract, the club was able to raise funds from a cinematic association. Moreover, we got 200 new subscriptions and 3 articles in 3 different magazines.
Because the club made a lot of profit, all the debts were safely paid. (check grammar)

Conclusion

At the moment, our club is standing in a great position and we have very rosy prospects. If you would like to contribute to the club’s development, please write your idea to our mail service.
Words: 260


Friday, 27 January 2017

CPE writing correction Exam 2017

Hello Gustavo,

I would be very grateful if you could correct some of my writings and show me the failures. 


Many thanks.
Riman Ellis


Task:

Read the two texts below.
Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible and include your own ideas in your answers.
The Financial Costs of Stress
Research carried out by the Health and Safety Council estimates that stress and mental illness continues to be neglected by many businesses, both small and large. And the economic impact of this is huge, costing employers around £26bn a year. Stress at work can lead to a lack of concentration, fatigue and low motivation, all of which will cost the company in terms of low productivity, customer satisfaction and the very reputation of the company itself. Employers are being urged to become more "emotionally intelligent" and to improve the way they deal with stress and mental illness.

Speak up about Stress
Many people find it difficult to talk about their feelings, particularly if we're feeling weak or vulnerable. However, when suffering from stress it’s vital you seek help. It's important to feel you can talk honestly with a close friend, a loved one, a work colleague or doctor about what’s going on. Stress is easily diagnosed and there is plenty you can do to successfully treat and manage stress. One of the most effective of these is to share your feelings with those you trust. Remember that accepting help and support is not a sign of weakness. Close relationships are vital to helping you get through this tough time


Essay on Stress at work


Suffering from stress not only impacts employee's physical and emotional health, but it also interferes with their work performance and productivity. This essay deals with the topic of stress at work and how to reduce it.

Friday, 2 December 2016

My name is Olga. I am a teacher of English from Ukraine. At present I am preparing for CAE test. Would you, please, kindly look through my essay?

The topic is "Which facilities should receive money from local authorities?" In the essay I should choose 2 facilities (from museums, sports centres and public gardens) and explain which facility it is more important to give money to, giving reasons in support of my answer.


CAE 
Essay Correction and Feedback

The prosperity of the city, as well as allocation of funds for its development, has always been an important issue for local authorities. This essay considers two facilities which deserve to receive investment from the city budget on a first-priority-basis and discusses which of the two should be granted the money for improvement.

Friday, 25 November 2016

CPE 2017 Have your writing corrected

Submitted by Zlatka Plavec
Write an Essay summarising and commenting on the two texts. 240-280 Words
 Tackling Traffic Congestion
Policy-makers employ a wide range of measures to tackle the problem of traffic congestion. Enforcement schemes such as setting strict speed limits on major roads and the use of congestion charges in city centres are two such examples as are vehicle exclusion zones or parking restrictions in busy pedestrian areas. However, it also makes sense to encourage motorists to become less reliant on their car. This can be achieved by making public transport more efficient and promoting the benefits of car-sharing with work colleagues, thus reducing weekly fuel bills. And the increasing number of cycle lanes on many roads is further evidence of how to win the hearts and minds of motorists in the fight against congestion
.The Joy of Motoring
Recent research into the attitudes of motorists shows we are still more than happy to get behind the wheel. Despite rising fuel costs, insurance premiums and frequent traffic jams, 9 out of 10 of us still enjoy driving. Whether it’s visiting friends and relations, taking the family for a day out or even commuting to work, the car remains first choice for many people. Experts argue that unlike public transport, the car leaves us in charge of our own destiny, giving us the freedom to travel when and where we want. The car also gives us the opportunity to express ourselves. The kind of vehicle we drive tells the world something about who we are or what we aspire to be. Cars are not simply a means of transport but also something we wear.

Essay on Motoring and Traffic Congestion



The need of motor vehicles in the modern world is undeniable. But although the benefits of owning a four-wheeled transportation device are numerous, cars can also generate a lot of problems.

On the one hand automobils are absolutely necessary for some people. For instance, in the USA, everybody needs a car to go to school or to go to the office. With public transport being slow or simply non-existent, having a car gives people a transport solution. Furthermore, travelling by car also helps people avoid stressful situations. Owning a car means no more standing in crowded buses or fighting with people in the subway.