Wednesday, 12 April 2017

CAE 2017 Essay Sample + free feedback

Hello Gustavo,

I´m taking the CAE exam in a couple of moths and I would be very pleased if you could have a look through the essay I´ve attached to this email.
I´ll be waiting for your reply.
Thanks
Berta



Your class has listened to a radio discussion on how more young people can be encouraged to study science. You have made the notes below:




Write an essay discussing two of the points in your notes. You should explain which way would be more effective in encouraging young people to study science, providing reasons to support your opinion.
You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should use your own words as far as possible.

Title?? (Feedback: Write a title)

It is generally accepted that students today see science as another subject (what do you mean?) and not as a field that could lead them to find a suitable job. In view of this, I shall consider (check) two of the proposed methods, school programmes and government grants as the most effective ways of encouraging students to study science. (Feedback: I suggest that you re-write the intro)


Probably the most important action to be taken could be to introduce nice (avoid using simple adjective like 'nice' ) and appealing school programmes that would enable students to have a clear vision of what could be to study science as a degree. In my view, however for this to be truly successful there should be not only an attractive program but also a well prepared and qualified course.


It has also been suggested that if governments were to invest more on science grants there would be a considerable increase of students applying for a science degree later on. In theory, this sounds good up to a point, bearing in mind that the outcome of this might not always be beyond our expectations. (But what is your idea? how should the government help? who? when? why? )



In view of the above arguments, I believe that it is mostly at schools were students develop their interests and it is there were people should put into action what it has been suggested in order to encourage young students to study science. (How is your conclusion connected with the other paragraphs?)

Thursday, 6 April 2017

CPE Formal Letter Sample from student with Feedback

Dear Gustavo,

I came across your website and I would like to accept the offer to send a writing task for correction.
In the attachment you will find a letter to the editor.

I am preparing for the CPE Exam in May.

Thanks in advance for your time and I look forward to hear from you.

Best wishes,
Miranda Star


 Dear Editor,

I am writing in response to a letter from one reader in the Saturday’s edition of your magazine stating that family life has not changed over the last twenty years. I would like to point out some opinions on this topic.
In the first place, when we discuss about family life we must take a closer look at the variation within families as constituted in the past twenty years. A family plays different roles. In the modern world of today there are many types of how families are formed. Besides the traditional families with a father and mother figure there are single-parent families, gay-parents, community families and grand-parents who play a significant role in the family. Researchers even say that fifty percent of the families nowadays have only one parent or consist of another non-typical combination. (Feedback: Make a clear point in line one and then develop your idea. Example. In line one: I personally believe that the idea of family has changed a lot in the last few years... argument...argument...example).

Secondly,  I would like to mention that the variation in types of families also have an impact on how children deal with relationships, it is not necessarily a problem, for example, without having a ‘father-figure’ present it might be challenging for girls to interact with male figures in her life such as teachers, employers and friends. Whereas a boy growing up without a ‘mother-figure’ might miss crucial lessons from the soft side taught by a woman. But, children are flexible and find other people in their life to fulfil the missing role or people in their families adjust to act in behalf of the missing figure. (Feedback: Interesting point but how is it connected to the statement "Families have not changed..." ??? maybe give another reason why families have changes. For example in the past only fathers worked but now both parents do ...etc or the father works in France and the mother in Spain...etc)

With that said, we can say that male, female and any type of family combination are capable to raise their children. (??? is this your conclusion? - is it connected to the topic? ) However,  society is not always prepared for a-typical families and judgement is lurking. Therefore, I would like to suggest to publish an article which shows the change in family-life and its varieties . Also, showing examples might be useful to show it is possible to be a successful family in an unconventional way.  

Yours faithfully,
Miranda Star

Formal Letter Sample CPE / Nicolas Procopio-CPESampleWritings

Formal LETTER

You recently attended a training course which was exceptionally good. Now you have decided to write a letter directly to the course leader. Say why the course was exceptional, why it was particularly suitable for you and how you are benefiting from it now. Write your letter.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to express my high level of satisfaction with the philosophy course which I attended in your school in Madrid last summer. I have to admit that having participated in many disappointing workshops and seminars in the past, I arrived with very low expectations, but I was soon to find out that your course is exceptionally interesting.

Each and every lecturer was a very knowledgeable and highly-regarded college professor. In my opinion, this is your strongest suit, as nobody else in the whole city has managed to gather such an elite group of people under the same roof. Being there allowed me to increase my network, which is going to be particularly useful for me next year when I have to write my dissertation. 

Regarding the content of the course, the professors made sure to provide us with an overwhelmingly wide range of topics of study, which was fantastic. We even discussed branches of Philosophy that are brand new.  Truth be told, I was completely taken aback by the quality of your course and I would recommend that any Philosophy undergraduate gives it a go, as it will give them an incredibly useful insight into the very depths of our field.

Having done your course, I feel completely prepared to write the last part of my dissertation paper – arguably, the most difficult one. That is why I wanted to express my gratitude in the most thoughtful way. 

Looking forward to attending new courses in your school in the future,

yours faithfully,


Nicolás Procopio 
(Edited by CpeSampleWritings)

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

CPE preparation. Writing and feedback

LETTER

You recently attended a training course which was exceptionally good. Now you have decided to write a letter directly to the course leader. Say why the course was exceptional, why it was particularly suitable for you and how you are benefiting from it now. Write your letter.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I recently attended one of your highly-regarded courses on Philosophy in the city of Madrid, Spain, and, honestly, I could not be any happier with the results. In the beginning I was not quite sure whether this would even work, as I had previously attended a couple of similar courses which had all been rather disappointing; however, the moment I started working on the material that we were given, it became clear to me that I had found the right place. (Feedback: Maybe just go straight to the point and say in the first line: I am writing to express my satisfaction with.../)

Much to my surprise, each and every teacher turned out to be a very knowledgeable and highly-regarded college professor. In my opinion, this played a decisive role in my studying, as I knew I could rely heavily on them for whatever I needed, especially my dissertation, which I have been writing for over four months now. (Feedback: "Much to my surprise..." Are you saying you expected the teachers to be bad? May sound a bit rude)

They made sure to provide us with an overwhelmingly wide range of topics to study – we even went over branches of Philosophy that I had barely even heard of back when I was in college. Truth be told, I was completely taken aback by the quality of your course and I would recommend that any Philosophy undergraduate give it a go, as it will give them some incredibly useful insight into the very depths of Philosophy.

Now that I have finished the course, I feel completely prepared to write the last part of my dissertation – arguably, the most difficult one. That is why I wanted to express my gratitude in a more thoughtful way – although I still believe words are not enough to convey how grateful I am. Keep up the good work! (This and some other expressions in the letter seem too informal/ too friendly)

Yours faithfully,

Nicolás Procopio.

CPE 2017 writing exercise plus feedback

Hello, I just wrote this essay and I would really appreciate your opinion about it.
Maricarmen Ortega


Question

Read the two texts below. Write an essay summarizing and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible, and include your own ideas in your answers. Write your answer in 240 – 280 words.

Fashion is full of contradictions

It is beyond dispute that fashions plays an important role in social and cultural life today. Since it has such power, it is natural that questions are asked about its role in society. The fashion industry has always said that it gives people the freedom to express their unique individuality, even to experiment with alternative identities. However, critics argue that fashion dictates to society what should be considered beautiful and elegant, and ultimately encourages everyone, especially the young, to dress in similar ways. It is this very ambiguity that makes fashion fascinating and which can also provoke hostility.

Is fashion for everyone?

There will always be those who say that fashion is trivial and that obsession with it is the sign of a second-rate mind. But despite this, it is hard to believe people who say that they are not interested in what they wear. They may mean they are not interested in fashion, and believe that following the latest trends is a waste of time. They look for comfort and a reasonable fit in the clothes they buy, and that is sufficient. However, there is something shallow about asserting you don’t care what you look like, because in your heart of hearts you know it isn’t true. Appearances do matter, when, most of the time, they are all we have to go on.

My essay:

No title?? 
(Feedback: always a good idea to write a title)

This essay will examine some very different points of view about the world of fashion, such as its importance in our daily lives, the argument between critics and fashion industry owners, the shallowness surrounding this world or how it can be something that might help expressing one´s individuality. (Feedback: Focus and make it clear and simple. The essay is not really about "the argument" between critics and fashion industry owners... or the "shallowness" of fashion. Say just you are going to discuss whether fashion is for everyone).

The first text argues whether fashion allows people to express themselves in ways that approach the artistic expressions we are used to in paintings, sculptures or literature or if this so-called freedom is something that industry CEO´s dictate changing its canon of beauty from season to season, especially influencing the young. My opinion is that however free we think we are when it comes to fashion, obviously we all follow its trends and try to adapt them to our daily lives, however it´s stunning how young people acquire what should be mere suggerences in fashion as rules of thumb and replace all their wardrobes every season. (Mistakes are in red)

In the second text the question is whether fashion is trivial or not and no matter how uninterested one can intend or pretend to be it´s worthless for fashion and physical appearance are really important in our current society. (Sentence is too long) My personal opinion about it is that it´s not such a shallow world as it may look like.  It takes a lot of effort and work to design pieces of clothes that are soon to be replaced by newer pieces with newer designs. Fashion also helps some people to define themselves and maybe overcome a tough moment providing them with a positive sensation when wearing that special piece of clothes that has taken such painstaking time for the designer. I think it´s a harsh world, for its soon obsolescence and the pressure CEO´s in big companies put on their designers and employees, which should be considered all as highly valuable assets. (This paragraph is long. And your opinion is far too long. Try to balance text and opinion. You opinion can not dominate the whole paragraph).

Maybe it´s those CEO´s the ones that really dictate what is worth wearing or not each and every season. However, we should always follow our tastes despite what trends set. This way fashion would indeed express oneself individuality, which is its main purpose. (Hard to see the connection between the info in the paragraphs and the conclusion).



Feedback
Dear Maricarmen, thanks for following the blog.
Please give us a like here G+ and in Facebook.

Keep the hard work and try to really summarise the essence of the two texts in your writing.