Tuesday, 19 June 2018
thanks for checking my last writing. Maybe CPE is beyond my limits but I am willing to try it anyway. Here is a new writing. I would be really glad if you could check it.
An international current affairs magazine has invited readers to contribute articles entitled “Globalization – good news or bad?” for its next issue. You decide to write an article explaining your personal views on the topic. 280-320 words.
Title is missing
In the last decades we have faced a sweeping change in the way we live our lives that would have been completely unimaginable just 100 years ago. We now have the chance to communicate with whoever we want at the time we desire, to travel to the farthest corner of the world at a reasonable price and all that thanks to what we call globalization. Everything is faster and easily affordable regardless of our economic resources and/or social status. How can this be bad news? (Are you sure about that? how? What do you mean by "everything"?)
Globalization has certainly brought great advantages to every sphere of our life: from our job to our private life, we are now constantly connected to social media and new technologies, which allow us to have an up-to-date glance of the reality that surrounds us. Knowledge is another field which has experienced a real revolution: we now have free access to all kinds of news thanks to the internet, which is surely the greatest source of information of all. As a matter of fact, it is a democratic means of communication that can be hardly manipulated by politics.
On the other hand, however, globalization has some drawbacks too: many people have a critical stand towards the powers of globalization, because they are frightened of losing their freedom and privacy. In my opinion, being worried about so tremendous a change is understandable, but we must face it, not avoid it cowardly complaining about its flaws.
All in all, having a positive attitude towards the future is the right way to deal with our new globalized world. Only in this way we can take the most out of it.
Feedback: Interesting ideas, but the topic of the text seems to be "the internet" more than globalization.
Wednesday, 13 June 2018
my name is Eva and I am preparing the CPE exam for the session in July. I know my weaknesses are in the writing and speaking part, since in a mock test (listening and reading) I have scored the highest. I'd like to practice a little bit with the writing part, and I have found your site really useful. Since you have written that we can send you texts for checking, here is mine. Here attached there are the instructions for the essay and my script. I hope to hear from you soon, possibly with good remarks.
Thanks a lot
Feedback in colour red
The tourism industry and its unsustainability
The first text draws
the our attention to the drawbacks of
tourism, when it is handled carelessly and only in the perspective of
money-making. Unsustainable tourism has already caused causes great problems, both
from an environmental point of view, as well as from a cultural stand. (Which ones? give examples and use related vocabulary) The
extract then goes on to espouse the viewpoint that even the society itself has
been suffering from a kind of disruption and dislocation caused by unthinking
and unmanaged tourism, which has led local communities to lose their cohesion
and feelings of belonging to a group.
The second writer agrees with the previously mentioned idea and even compares the tourism industry with a rapacious predator. However, his standpoint is not as negative, since he admits the fact that a sustainable form of tourism can actually exist, although these reforming initiatives often come either too late, once the damage has already been done, or are moved by purposes that little have to do with environmental issues. (This sentence is too long and has two connectors. Consider re-writing it).
On the whole, I tend to agree with the second writer and his slightly positive attitude, due to the fact that I have witnessed myself examples of sustainable tourism and I am persuaded it can succeed. As a matter of fact, when things are run correctly, keeping an eye on the future and if everyone truly feels a pure commitment to nature and sustainability, travel trade will just get better and improve, reaching excellence and even resolving issues that date back to a short-sighted and hopefully obsolete past. (This last sentence is way too long and difficult to read).
Thursday, 17 May 2018
Sample sent by Donato M
feedback in red
On account of the current lack of support offered to the college’s international students, this proposal is intended to make some suggestions as to how the website could better cater to their needs.
PROVIDING USEFUL INFORMATION
After closely examining the website’s content, it became evident that information regarding seminars and local events
was is insufficient. Therefore, I would recommend providing accurate timetables giving and a clear
overview of what seminars and events international students have the chance to can experience attend at our
college. Not only would this enable them to acclimatise to the new environment,
but they would also raise their cultural awareness, which is crucial when
studying abroad. (check last sentence)
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly believe that, should these suggestions be implemented effectively, the website will prove to be a useful tool for any foreign student willing to study here and that their permanence at our college will definitely be much more enjoyable. (Try breaking this long sentence is two to make it reader friendlier).
Thursday, 26 April 2018
I am Álvaro de diego, a spanish student from Seville. I have seen the announcement about correcting writings for free. I write to you in order to know if you would be able to correct a writing from me that is supposed to have enough quality for the CPE examn.
Thank you very much for your attention.
Álvaro de diego
Your local newspaper has published a story about plans to develop one of the parks near your home. The trees will be cleared and a small shopping centre and parking lot will be built on the land. You decide to send a letter to the editor of the newspaper expressing your opinions on this matter and addressing the likely effects that this development will have on your community in the short and longer terms.
Feedback is in colour red.
The text in red needs correction.
Dear Sir/ Madam
I am writing to you regarding the article about the construction of a new mall located in the neighbourhood park, which appeared in Tuesday’s edition of your newspaper. I would like to express some concerns I have about the matter.
Our neighbourhood is a very residential one where the park has the main role of a second house for the majority of people living here. Due to the big amount of families the park is used for old people to go for a walk, for young and not so young people to do sport, for the kids to play… and I could go on naming various uses. Saying this I mean that removing the park from our district would affect negatively our way of living in many aspects.
On the other hand, is truth that a mall would give more life to our neighbourhood and jobs to the people that doesn’t have one, but these are short-term effects. On the long-term
period, having a mall filled with shops, maybe discos and pubs and a parking
lot would have very bad consequences that for sure weren’t considered when this
development was proposed.
First of all, the little shops from our neighbourhood would become obsolete compare to the mall, resulting in the closing of many of them. Another consequence,
this one in a
long-term period, would be the increase of pollution and noise due to the
people coming in and out from the mall and the cars, and taking into
consideration the current problem of climate change, cutting trees to construct
a mall wouldn’t be appropriate at all.
To summarise, although
the idea of having a mall would be have some advantages, it has many more
disadvantages both in the short and the long-term. I would suggest building the mall outside the city, where it could be
bigger, as nobody lives close, and too the noise and pollution would affect the
population from our district or the one around us.
Try to make the text more formal and avoid repeating words ("mall" for example has been used more than 5 times)