Sunday, 27 October 2019

CPE Essay Sample on Advertising

The following text was submitted by Victor L.C.

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(Suggestion: Add a title)

The main topic discussed in both paragraphs is outdoor advertising and how it interacts with people. While the first one text embraces this form of publicity and its applications with the growth of technology, the second one criticizes its invasiveness. (American spelling)
On one hand On the one hand, "the excitement of advertising" describes how the purpose of this marketing technique, which is involvement and getting into the customer’s mind, allows it to be really prolific.(Check grammar) Nonetheless, with the rapid growth of technology, companies must hurry themselves to use them for their own good in order to keep up to date and be displayed widely. Innovations like these are opening a world of opportunities for companies due to their low costs and high rates of interaction with the public.
Meanwhile, On the other hand, "Advertising: a desirable business", For one thing, remarks how the situation has gone from billboards and unharmful campaigns that could be easily ignored to a whole new level of surreptitious publicity that keeps barraging potential customers with truckloads of products that have been just launched into the market and become the talk of town which is found excessive and not even practical.(Sentence is too long: punctuation) For another thing Furthermore people find outrageous that companies target people whose self-control is almost non-existent (Who do you mean? Children? Sounds rather rude) and therefore accuse businesses of malpractice.
On the whole, marketing is a necessary and effective technique which allows an increase in revenues but whose which impacts are usually belittled and might make people feel devoid of their privacy. Cookies are a clear example of this, personally designed advertisements based on what your searches on the internet are, suggest that maybe we have gone too far in terms of creating a feeling that we are constantly being tracked by companies. (Why mention cookies at the last minute? Conclusion should be about what you already mentioned)

Tuesday, 27 August 2019

CPE Report 2019 The healthcare system in Spain

The following writing was submitted by Rodrigo, who is planning to take a C2 level examination soon. The report is well structured but presents several mistakes. 

Let's support Rodrigo with some comments. All the best !

The healthcare system in Spain

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The aim of the report is to analyse the current situation of the healthcare system in Spain, outlining the positive and negative points, as well as to stating to provide recommendations that could on how to make some improvement. 

Current situation

It could be said that the healthcare in Spain is among the best ones around the world, despite of the problems that we all could have in mind. (Which ones? We are not in Spain) In order to have a better understanding of it, I have done (better in passive voice: a survey was carried out...) a survey to different players related to healthcare (players?? check!) such as pacients patients, medical proffesionals, material suppliers and pharmacies.

Seldom have they mentioned (why present perfect? check grammar) positive points to be outlined, but the few ones are the basis of the whole system:
·    - The attention is free and guaranted to all the patients.
·   - The medical proffesionals are considered very well prepared and skillful, with a great experience in the field.
·    - The machinery and equipments (uncountable) in use are brand new, featuring updated capabilities.

These are great positive remarks, albeit there are well-known negative points that were outlined: 
      -Waiting time to be attended is longer than it should be. Even more for operations rather diagnosis. (check grammar)
·    -Instalations Facilities are old and a renewal is becoming a must
·   -The payment terms among the different partners (public entities to suppliers and to pharmacies) are too long.

Measures for improvement
The adjusted budget of the public entity determines that more proffesionals, better instalations facilities and more fluent payments is hardly to be assumed at the same time. (check grammar)

However, the possibility of co-payment in order to reduce the level of overcrowding will give a release on the waiting lists and could be a plus to enhance the payment terms in the supply chain.

Bearing in mind all the points detailed, we could say (why in conditional?) we have a great healthcare system, whereas (check the use of whereas) some improvements need to be done to keep it in the upper part of the world ranking.
In my opinion, the co-payment recommendation would be a good starting point to solve this  tangled situation.


Wednesday, 12 June 2019

CPE Exam 2019 Sample Report

The following text was submitted by Flora. I have added some comments in red as feedback. Unfortunately, without the task or a photo of the task, it is very difficult for me to provive more accurate and detailed feedback. 

I hope it helps anyways!

International Film Club Report 2018-2019

 (An introduction is missing)

Events (Last year's events, better?)
Reminiscing on the International Film Club’s (IFC) past year (change or eliminate), the club’s "Italian film weekend", which was held in February, proved to be a great success with many members expressing their encouragement. This leads (past tense?) the club’s board to give consideration to a recurrence of the popular event in the year of 2020. Furthermore, the annual dinner with this year’s special guest John Favreau held at the Shoreditch Hotel was a well-attended success (change) as ever.

Future plans
In the year of 2019-2020, IFC is determined to bring even more interesting cinematic insights to its esteemed members. Not only can the board confirm it has recently tied down director Anthony Russo for a lecture on suspense in blockbusters (scheduled to be held in December 2019 at the club’s headquarters in London), but it can also corroborate new plans of an advanced video library. IFC members will be enabled to consult this database at the club’s headquarters as well as at our website. (In general some sentences are too long)

This year’s earnings consists of (check "consist of")) the contribution of 32 fresh members and the generous £30,000 grant from the National Film Association. This adds up to an income of £38,000. All outgoing expenses this year comprise the renting of films and the purchase of new stationery, such as a suitable film projector and the furnishing of the recently procured meeting room. These cost £20,100. This leaves us with a rough grand total of £20,700 to spend on the organisation of further club meetings. Everything taken into account, the International Film Club will be faring well in the year of 2019-2020.

(A conclusion is missing)

Thursday, 11 April 2019

CPE Sample on Consumerism und Evolving Technology

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The first text points out the great deal of stuff being thrown away every week; as a matter of fact, Both governments and private citizens are trying to do their best to enhance recycling. This line of reasoning should not make us safe and thoroughly We should not be so proud though, insofar as this seems not to be enough to prevent situations like marine life from being irreversibly endangered. (Re-write + Add a couple of lines including personal opinion)

Friday, 22 March 2019

CPE Article on Gap Year

Hi everybody ! I received this Article Sample from Debora. I post it here with some feedback.
Unfortunately, I have to say I have some issues with it. To me it looks more like a job advertisement than an article. I would stronly suggest making changes. Take a look and feel free to provide your own feedback !
Question: You have been asked to write an article for Job Prospects magazine, a publication for 18-30 year olds, on the following topic:
How taking a gap year* can enhance your career prospects.
You should focus on the types of job and leisure opportunities for young people taking a gap year in your country (or a country that you know well), the types of skills that can be gained and the likely value of these to potential employers.

Write the article for the readers of the magazine. (around 280 - 320 words)

Take a gap year and boost your career prospects

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A gap year is a chance to figure yourself out, get in contact with alternative ways of life and enhance your skills. Besides, more than ever employers are seeking for talents beyond the knowledge itself. (What do you mean?) Having this experience will put yourself in an unknown situation every day, strengthening your decision-making capabilities. It will present you with the chance to become a better version of yourself! It doesn’t matter if your gap year is just before college or in mid-jobs; there is always room for improving old habits and creating good new ones.

Wednesday, 6 March 2019

CPE Essay on Zoos Sample writing

Here there is a sample writing sent by Elena. My feedback is in red.

Essay on Zoos

Resultado de imagen de zooNowadays it is widely acknowledged how much it is important it is to protect and study endangered species. Which better way to do it than keeping animals in zoos? But to which extent do zoos really represent a salvation for those animals? (Suggestion: Use more adjectives like "utterly important")