Wednesday, 22 February 2017

CPE Letter to the Editor Correction

Hola, he leído en vuestra web que ayudáis a corregir writings, lo cual me alegra, porque quiero sacarme el c2 y al trabajar no tengo tiempo de ir a una academia, y claro necesito una ayuda con la parte del writings para saber cómo lo estoy haciendo.
Espero q me podáis ayudar.
saludos!!!

Raquel Vilaplana



Task: you have recently become aware of a situation which you believe to be wrong or unjust and which you think should be dealt with by the authorities.Write a letter to a newspaper clearly describing  that situation ,explaining the problems it causes and saying what you believe should be done about it:


Dear Sir or Madam,

Unfortunatelly bullying is increasingly affecting more and more schools. I currently work as a teacher at St Patirck’s school, and sadly I have to witness situations of bullying almost every day. This unfair and dramatic situation urge to be sttoped,  otherwise it will get more and more complicated. (Feedback: avoid repeating words)

Me, along my workmates My colleagues and I have reported  this issues to the school’s direction, and they transmitted to informed us that the situation is in the hands of the main authorities, which is a good sign, as it means  that the problem is being revised reviewed. However, the process is taken taking too long and time is very important in this situation as the health of the affected students is under threat both, physically and psycologically. So, in the meantime  we consider that something else should be done from the school’s direction, in order to reduce the amount of children being disturbed.

When I first started working here, clearly the situation was in control, it could be maybe there were one or maybe two incidents per month which were dealt successfully with the help of psycologists. Now, after one year, the number has increased alarmingly, and the situation is out of control, there is just one psycologist for the whole school, which used to be enough when everthing was under control ,but now, obviously external  help is needed, for instance, more psycologists and more supervision on the abusers. We, as teachers have been asked to keep an eye with on the problem,but they have to consider that we can not continuously interrupt the classes as the lessons need to be carry on.

It would be greateful  if this letter could be published on your newspaper with the aim of  make making the readers aware of it, and hopefully accelerate the authorities´ work in this worrying social phenomenom.


Yours faithfully
Name

Words: 299 


Feedback: 

- The most important one is probably to avoid repeating words. It shows that you lack vocabulary and that you don´t proofread. 

-Another thing to consider is the number of words. Which is not stated in the task. 

Apart from that well done and keep the good work !

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

FCE Writing Correction and Feedback

Hola! he visto en tu página que se te pueden mandar writings para corregirlos.
Te mando un essay para el first y si puedes ayudarme, lo agradezco!

Saludos!

Karin


FCE ESSAY
Is it better to have older or younger parents?


Due to factors like the economic crisis and the need to find good jobs, many people delay having children and become parents at a rather old age. But is it good for children? I believe there are actually many advantages in having young parents. 


First of all parents and sons have more things in common because the generational gap between them is thin. They are likely to share hobbies, music and taste for trips, which contributes to a good relationship.

Secondly, they have a similar way of doing things and understanding the world. It is possible for them to talk about everything, put in each other´s shoes and find solutions to problems 

Thirdly, they share more or less the same level of energy. An old parent will have more difficulty in teaching their children how to ride a bike, just to give an example.

To conclude, I think that, it is better to have young parents. They share more things with you and they even understand you better.


Words: 180



Feedback.

1. Respect the number of words. The original text had 210 words, so I had to reduce it,
2. It was written from an adult''s perspective, but the question is: is it better to have older parents?
So, I re-wrote it as if a young person was answering.

Monday, 30 January 2017

CPE writing correction: Essay


Hi Gustavo,

I'm sending you my first essay I wrote for Part 1 of the writing test. This must be the hardest part of the exam since I have no reliable way of knowing just how good my writing is and what grade it will merit. So any feedback will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Best Regards,
George 

P.S. Pay no heed to the title, it was a joke between me and my teacher :)

 Oxford's Proficiency Masterclass Oxford's Proficiency Masterclass



Burn the zoos! Hang the keepers!
(unabridged version. also the only one)


Does conservation justify incarceration? That is a dilemma zoo opponents raise. Crammed zoo enclosures, they say, are hardly appropriate for wild animals which regularly exhibit physical and mental discomfort in captivity. On the other hand, those in defense of zoos insist that they are instrumental in keeping animal extinction at bay.

Our understanding of animals has come a long way from perceiving them as mindless automations. Today, we are well aware of the fact that their inner world is every bit as sophisticated as even our own. Can we then in good conscience continue to deprive them of their freedom, knowing full well the anguish this entails?

Writing correction Report for CAE exam

Dear CPESamplewritings, 
please read my Report and give me some feedback.

Regards
Rita Cotrim

Task
You belong to an international film club and have been asked to write a report for the club members including information about the main events held over the last twelve months, the present plans for activities in the coming years and a summary of the current financial position of the club in respect of money received and payments made.


Title? (Feedback: write a title)

Introduction

The aim of this report is to outline the activities we made over the last year and to present our fellow club members our future prospects. (Info about finances is missing, see task)

Main events held last year

First of all, monthly film sessions were organised throughout the year. These sessions were very successful among our club members and got recognised by a cinema magazine.
Furthermore, last year was our 20th anniversary, therefore we were kindly sponsored by DigitalFilms to create a campaign to promote their new film and to celebrate our anniversary. 

Besides this event, a Christmas party was organised and it was a very happy day, where members exchanged gifts and shared a beautiful dinner. (try to use more advanced vocabulary)


Future plans

After gathering all the club’s staff, we came up with new activities for the coming year, such as monthly excursions to a different film club, a film festival and the possibility of opening a new club. (paragraph too short compared with the others)

Finances

It is safe to say that the past year was by far our best year financially. As a result of signing a new contract, the club was able to raise funds from a cinematic association. Moreover, we got 200 new subscriptions and 3 articles in 3 different magazines.
Because the club made a lot of profit, all the debts were safely paid. (check grammar)

Conclusion

At the moment, our club is standing in a great position and we have very rosy prospects. If you would like to contribute to the club’s development, please write your idea to our mail service.
Words: 260


Friday, 27 January 2017

CPE writing correction Exam 2017

Hello Gustavo,

I would be very grateful if you could correct some of my writings and show me the failures. 


Many thanks.
Riman Ellis


Task:

Read the two texts below.
Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible and include your own ideas in your answers.
The Financial Costs of Stress
Research carried out by the Health and Safety Council estimates that stress and mental illness continues to be neglected by many businesses, both small and large. And the economic impact of this is huge, costing employers around £26bn a year. Stress at work can lead to a lack of concentration, fatigue and low motivation, all of which will cost the company in terms of low productivity, customer satisfaction and the very reputation of the company itself. Employers are being urged to become more "emotionally intelligent" and to improve the way they deal with stress and mental illness.

Speak up about Stress
Many people find it difficult to talk about their feelings, particularly if we're feeling weak or vulnerable. However, when suffering from stress it’s vital you seek help. It's important to feel you can talk honestly with a close friend, a loved one, a work colleague or doctor about what’s going on. Stress is easily diagnosed and there is plenty you can do to successfully treat and manage stress. One of the most effective of these is to share your feelings with those you trust. Remember that accepting help and support is not a sign of weakness. Close relationships are vital to helping you get through this tough time


Essay on Stress at work


Suffering from stress not only impacts employee's physical and emotional health, but it also interferes with their work performance and productivity. This essay deals with the topic of stress at work and how to reduce it.