Sunday, 25 June 2017
CPE Essay Writing and Feedback 2017
I have seen on your website that you are offering correction services for CPE writing task. Please see attached my essay and the Part one task.
Everybody has different expectations when it comes to social behaviour. While some people deem even the smallest bending of the unwritten customs unacceptable, others rebel refusing to accept conventions claiming that society needs individuality. This essay will discuss both points of views highlighted in the two extract above.
Customs and habits are formed over a long period of time, therefore, it is hard to accept, especially for older generations, a new social phenomenon especially if they are implemented by youngsters. This results in a clash of generations. Older people complain about rudeness while teenagers moan about grannies medieval views. Mobile phone and social media communication are viewed as intrusive by elderly people but for younger generations, this is an essential part of their lifestyle. So how to move forward? The answer is simple. Learning to accept changes and mutual understanding is crucial. (Feedback: Check text in red. It worries me that you are repeating the same words from the text).
Customs and conventions are part of our culture. However, we should not be expected to blindly follow in footsteps of our ancestors because this kills creativity and passion. We don’t want to be stuck in ancient times afraid to look up and try something new. Not so long ago women were expected to wear long dresses. But as passionate and brave individuals dared to challenge this perception, skirts became shorter and trousers part of women’s wardrobe. Society needs individualism which is beneficial not only for personal well-being but also for the whole society and culture. (Feedback: Interesting ideas here but mind the style. It reads to me a little informal, like speaken language),
In conclusion, acceptance and understanding are key elements of good relationships, while convention and etiquette exist for reason. Nevertheless, allowances to bend these rules have to be made so we can go forward. After all, it all comes down to everybody’s common sense to be able to judge what is acceptable and what is not.