Dear CPESamplewritings,
I'm having a school exam for English writing next week at CAE/CPE level. I made a practice writing excercise from your website (http://cpesamplewritings.
Best regards,
Noa
See the feedback in red
Title??
There
are all kinds of indexes which compare the ‘quality of life’ in
various countries. However, ‘quality of life’ is a vague phrase.
For how does one truly measure someone’s well-being and happiness?
These
‘quality of life’ indexes take several factors into account, like
people’s health, the climate, political freedom and wealth. It is
hard to say which factor is most important, although many people
agree that health is a core factor. Being healthy is necessary to
take part in society, that is, to work and meet new people. However,
good health alone doesn’t make you a happy person.
I
think that is because the most important aspects of quality of life
cannot be measured. In the first place, you may think of family and
friends. When they’re around, even a economically underdeveloped
country can seem like a nice place. For a lonely person who lives in
a ‘perfect’ country, it is a lot harder to achieve happiness.
Furthermore,
people’s mindset is also important for their well-being. It is for
good reason people always say: be satisfied with what you have.
Aiming for more happiness may paradoxically take it away, because
you’ll only think about what you’re missing and not about what
you already have.
From
my point of view, the people around you and your own mindset have
most influence on your quality of life. I don’t think comparing one
country with another is truly possible, since these things of course
can’t be put into statistics.
Feedback: Although the text is well written, it seems way too simple for CPE level. If you use adjectives like "good" "happy" or "perfect" the examiner may think that you lack advanced vocabulary. Be careful with that !
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