Feedback in red
Wednesday, 30 August 2017
CAE 2017 Competition Entry Sample and Feedback
Feedback in red
Do you know that Spanish is the second most spoken language is the world? My secret ambition is to improve
as much as I can my Spanish skills as much as I can and to be able to live on giving
Spanish lessons. So, my main goal is to become a
Spanish teacher, but for that to be possible I need to reach a fluent
to native proficiency level. (Feedback: Why is this ambition secret? What do you do now?)
I strongly believe moving overseas and living in a Spanish speaking country are the key to my success
es. Since my an early
age, I have a passion for modern languages, first I moved to UK 6
years ago, to improve my English, before that I had studied and lived
in a France to improve my French ability. (Feedback: The two sencentes in the paragraph are disconnected. Why is living in Spain the key to success? There is not connection with growing up in the UK)
Although it may be a long journey to become a teacher and I might fail to achieve it. I am strongly motivated to make it happen. Once achieved a high level of fluency, the next step is to get a formal qualification that enables me to teach in a formal setting.
Despite existing a huge number of modern languages teachers, having some experience in the field is essential, I believe I will make a difference in teaching, although I have never taught, I have a background of the difficulties faced while learning a new language and adding to that, I have been working with children for 4 years, helping them with homework and achieving high scores in their final exams.
It is a competition and if you are trying to win, you have to impress the judges. Unfortunately I find the text not interesting enough, and in term of ideas, very disorganised.