Wednesday, 30 August 2017

CPE 2017 Article Sample: Happiness

Hello Gustavo,

it would be great if you could have a look at my article


Warm regards,
Clemente


Task 

AN ENGLISH LANGUAGE MAGAZINE IS RUNNING A SERIES ON THE TOPIC OF HAPPINESS. YOU DECIDE TO SEND IN AN ARTICLE. YOU SHOULD BRIEFLY DESCRIBE ONE OR TWO SITUATIONS IN WHICH YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED A SENSE OF HAPPINESS. YOU SHOULD ALSO ANALYSE WHAT CONTRIBUTES TO FEELINGS OF HAPPINESS FOR MANY PEOPLE, AND SUGGEST WHETHER THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS IS A WORTHWHILE AIM. (280-320 words)


Feedback in red

No title? 
(What's the name of your article?)

In today`s society happiness still represents rather an abstruse concept. Many believe happiness is simply unattainable. Others feel that it is possible to find a sense of happiness in everyday activities. However, would it be fair to give this profound emotion only one definition?
 
What is happiness about? Is it about self-fulfilment? Is it about having lofty ambitions? Is it about surviving perilous experiences? Or perhaps happiness is a much simpler concept: having a hot cup of tea in your cosy bed while the wintry wind is howling outside, going window-shopping with your fiancé, purchasing tons of books for your brainy siblings. (I don't like this paragraph. I don't like the repetitive use of questions and I feel like you have two introductions.) 

As far as I am concerned, happiness is an ephemeral sensation which the human body experiences every time you witness something incredibly unique. You feel elated, tickled pink, and all your dark thoughts suddenly wear off. (Careful, this part seems more like an essay)
            
Honestly, the last time I felt this way was when I set foot in Cambridge for the very first time. The moment I landed in England, my heart skipped a beat. Since English is a burning passion of mine, I had always longed to visit this country. What I love about this language is the musicality, as well as the richness of its vocabulary. Therefore, for an anglophile through and through like me, being surrounded by the English culture every day was like living in a dream round-the-clock.
 
All in all, I think the pursuit of happiness is definitely a worthwhile aim. Not only does happiness represent a totally attainable objective, but it also encompasses several advantages, such as great physical and mental health, the opportunity to build fantastic friendships, along with the wisdom and the warmth that only happiness can give. (How and why do you conclude that?)


General Feedback:
Very good use of grammar and vocabulary. It is however at some points, more an essay than an article. And as an article, I am afraid it is rather boring.