Sunday, 25 February 2018

CPE Sample Letter 2018 Environment

Dear Gustavo,
Please find below two of my writings for you to revise.
Thank you very much in advance for your comments.
Regards!
Victoria
 

Feedback at the end 

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you regarding your invitation for suggestions for a publicity campaign which I saw on my college bulletin board two days ago. As I am really involved in the environmental protection, I would like to share with you my points of view on the issue. why it is important to protect the countryside and innovative ways to raise people's awareness on this matter.

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on the effort you have been making to protect such an important national area as the countryside. In my opinion, the farming industry is one of the most important ways of making the national economy stronger. Into the bargain, countless wholesome products are produced there. For that reason, the whole community should be strongly committed to reduce the size of our carbon footprint and to stop destroying the environment. Currently, I am extremely concerned for the extent to which native forests have been affected by deforestation activities. No sooner did I realise how harmful this activity was than I got involved in the field. Standing up to big foreign corporations which overuse our natural resources is nothing but mandatory for all of us.

With regard to your publicity campaign, hardly had I seen your invitation when a great idea crossed my mind. There is no denying that there are plenty of countries where the lack of regulation about environmental protection to prevent desertification led to devastating effects. Thus, it seems to me that taking pictures of those unfortunately damaged areas and making them be in the public eye will raise the national consciousness about this issue.

All things considered, it seems to be crucial to take care of our nature and wildlife urgently. I strongly believe that the prospects for the future of our country will be bleak unless protective measures be are taken and enforced immediately.
I look forward to hearing yours and others’ dwellers views on the subject.
Yours faithfully,

Victoria Ferrer


Feedback
Dear Victoria, I have nothing to criticise in terms of grammar and vocabulary, but I think you can improve the content. I don't think your text really matches the task: "suggest NEW ways of raising people's awareness..."
I would suggest re-writing the second paragraph, which to my mind is not so relevant to the task.