Hi everybody ! I received this Article Sample from Debora. I post it here with some feedback.
Unfortunately, I have to say I have some issues with it. To me it looks more like a job advertisement than an article. I would stronly suggest making changes. Take a look and feel free to provide your own feedback !
...
Question: You have been
asked to write an article for Job Prospects magazine, a publication for 18-30
year olds, on the following topic:
How taking a gap year* can enhance your career prospects.
You should focus on
the types of job and leisure opportunities for young people taking a gap
year in your country (or a country that you know well), the types
of skills that can be gained and the likely value of these to potential
employers.
Write the article for the readers of the magazine. (around 280 - 320 words)
Write the article for the readers of the magazine. (around 280 - 320 words)
Take a gap year and boost your career prospects
Feedback in red
A gap year is a chance to figure
yourself out, get in contact with alternative ways of life and
enhance your skills. Besides, more than ever employers are seeking for
talents beyond the knowledge itself. (What do you mean?) Having this experience will put
yourself in an unknown situation every day, strengthening your decision-making
capabilities. It will present you with the chance to become a better
version of yourself! It doesn’t matter if your gap year is just before college
or in mid-jobs; there is always room for improving old habits and creating good
new ones.
-Options all around: (Not so common to use subtitles in articles)
Have you ever considered living with
a host family in another country? Do you like kids? If you answered yes,
the Au pair program is for you! This authentic way to perceive a new culture
will change your life. Although living with another family may not be the
easiest job ever, you’ll learn to compromise, be gentle, caring and
responsible; it is an experience to take forever. .
Are you an adventurous person who
would love to visit many countries? The Skills program is for you! There you
will visit around 10 and, from cooking to building a small house, you can
choose the skills you’d like to learn. It might be a unique opportunity to
understand more about your strengths and how to overcome obstacles.
If altruism is your cup of tea,
volunteering is for you! Getting to know other ways of life and also
being able to give yourself and your time to improve other people's stories is
truly a worthy year gap!
These 3 options are not
even stretching the surface and a bunch of other alternatives are available in
the market. You should not miss out in this amazing opportunity and plan your
gap top-notch year!
No comments:
Post a Comment