Thursday, 29 June 2017

CPE Report 2017 Sample and Feedback

Hello Gustavo, 
I'm attaching my report so that it could be checked (if it's possible).

Kind regards,
Xenia


Task Type: Report
Question: A delegation of foreign students is planning a trip to your country. As a student, you have been asked to write a report on the system of education in your country as background information for their visit. Write your report (300-350 words), including your opinion of the advantages and disadvantages of the system


Report on...( write a title!)


Introduction
The purpose of this report is to describe the system of education in Russia. The report will comment on advantages and disadvantages of the system.

Details
The education system in Russia includes 11 years at of school, 9 of which are obligatory. so After finishing the 9th form grade, one can continue studying at college. 
The higher education system has changed over the years (how?), and it tends to be similar to the European one where you get a Bachelor degree after 4 years of study and then can proceed by to doing a Master’s degree, which will take you another 2 years. (Feedback: the heading is "details" but it seems very general)


Advantages of the system
In general, such a system has proven to be quite effective as years at school allow you to study thoroughly, paying attention to details and going deeper into something you are interested in. Moreover, there are only two obligatory examinations schoolchildren have to take when they finish school, which makes things not so complicated. Also, the results of the exams are accepted by both school and university, so no one has to take them twice.

Disadvantages
Despite so many pros, there are still certain things that seem to be problems. For example, the load at school might be unbearable for schoolchildren under 10, some complain (who?) about the number of assignments and their difficulty, which results in the lack of free time and children being inactive. Final state exams are claimed to test much deeper knowledge than that you can get by just attending classes. Because of it, parents spend large amounts of money on private tutors for their sons and daughters with no result guaranteed.
The competition for a place at universities is stiff and there are fewer and fewer free places every year, as a consequence, it turns into kind of a rat race.

Conclusion

Although the education system in Russia has already changed to a certain extent, there are still things to be improved. Personally, I think the number of exams could be reduced, while the quantity of free places in universities might be increased, so that everyone could study something he or she really aims for. 

Feedback: This writing can be largely improved, especially in terms of content. To me, there is a lot of important information that missing. I want to know for example if the education in Russia is free, if boys and girls study together or have the same opportunities, if childen learn other languages, if the school prepare young people to find good jobs...etc