Cambridge FCE 2017 Sample Writing and Feedback

Hello!

I’m preparing myself to the B2 (First) and it would be very helpful if you correct my writings.

Please, find attached my first sample.

Many thanks in advance!

José Luis Díaz Miguel

ESSAY – 2017/07/09

Essay question

Some people think that school does not prepare students adequately for real life. Do you agree?

Notes

Wite about:

1. The content of lessons
2. Social relationships
3. …………….. (your own idea)

140-190 words

Are School Students adequately prepared for real life?

This (is a) good question, (which) I would be asked not only students, but everyone. All of us must (should) analyse whether we are certainly prepared for real life or however if we are no more than owners of pure theoretical knowledge.

Schools and other educational institutions offer us lots of face-to-face and on-line lessons, and nowadays both in face-to-face way or alternatively on-line which means that a lot of the theory is available for us (to access) in different formats. But is this enough?

Feedback: Paragraph is not complete, what is the "content" of lessons? What do you learn about at school?

(In every-day life) we must be able to deal (with) different social relationships. And not only establishing new ones, but maintaining all those that we got previously. In this field is where we have to be the best players of the game, because the path for our own future is strongly linked to our ability of managing social relationships. (The problem is that at school, we receive little training in fundamental aspects like social skills and emotional intelligence).

Feedback: What about point 3 in the task? You need to ask one extra idea. Add one more paragraph.

To sum up, in my opinion these two main ideas are totally complementary because first of all you need a huge knowledge, on any area, to be able to share it between your relationships, and then show the whole World how clever person you are.  Feedback: Write a concrete conclusion: For example: I think school doesn't really prepare young people for real life because... //