Sunday, 22 October 2017

CPE Exam Writing an Essay "Music"

Good morning!
I have written an essay summarising two texts.
I would be incredibly grateful (to receive some feedback) as I have no one that could verify whether my papers look like the CPE papers should look or not.
Regards,
Lidia Konasiuk



Feedback in red

( You should write a title )

'Life without music would be a mistake', said Friedrich Nietsche. Therefore, he would probably agree with authors of both texts, as they outline the importance of music in an individual's emotional life and in their educational development. Its vital role in various fields has been scientifically proved. Science, however, applies to music only to a limited extent.


*See notes at the end
Melodies are created and received by the right cerebral hemisphere, the one responsible for all that is emotional and intuitive. One does not analyse a melody the moment one hears it, it speaks to one's subconscience, to one's heart, as we can metaphorically say. 

Music is universal - it conveys unutterable emotions. While listening to an opera, for instance Mozart's Don Juan, one does not need to know the language in which it is sung to appreciatethe opera's beauty, to fully understand the characters' feelings. This does not only appeal to the opera, but to all the musical genres. Take Metallica's Mama said created when mother of the band's vocalist died.

There are no superior kinds of music. Keeping that in mind, none of them should be
neglected in musical education. Humans learn the most efficiently what they are emotionally involved in. A child ought to learn to form an opinion, not to accept one kind of music and to reject the other.

In conclusion, to paraphrase Shakespeare, music is mightier than the word. It speaks to one's feelings in the first place and that makes it so powerful. That is because everyone has feelings and not everyone has reading skills, not to mention the analytical ones. A rock song can be as moving as any classical piece. Consequently, it can be as important in one's learning process. 


General feedback

Dear Lidia, I can see that your text is nicely organised in paragraphs, and that your grammar and vocabulary are ok for CPE level. Well-done! 

However, I think you are not following the task as strictly as you should. A piece of advice: Use only 4 paragraphs:

p1. intro
p.2 summarise text one and add your opinions/comments
p.3 summarise text two ...
p.4 conclusion

P2 Usually starts: Text one outlines... / According to the first text/author...

I wish you the best of lucks for the exam.