A letter to the editor Sample. CPE 2018

Dear Gustavo

I am Álvaro de diego, a spanish student from Seville. I have seen the announcement about correcting writings for free. I write to you in order to know if you would be able to correct a writing from me that is supposed to have enough quality for the CPE examn.

Thank you very much for your attention.

Best regards

Sincerely,

Álvaro de diego

Task

Your local newspaper has published a story about plans to develop one of the parks near your home. The trees will be cleared and a small shopping centre and parking lot will be built on the land. You decide to send a letter to the editor of the newspaper expressing your opinions on this matter and addressing the likely effects that this development will have on your community in the short and longer terms.

Feedback is in colour red.

The text in red needs correction.

Dear Sir/ Madam

I am writing to you regarding the article about the construction of a new mall located in the neighbourhood park, which appeared in Tuesday’s edition of your newspaper. I would like to express some concerns I have about the matter.

Our neighbourhood is a very residential one where the park has the main role of a second house for the majority of people living here. Due to the big amount of families the park is used for old people to go for a walk, for young and not so young people to do sport, for the kids to play… and I could go on naming various uses. Saying this I mean that removing the park from our district would affect negatively our way of living in many aspects.

On the other hand, is truth that a mall would give more life to our neighbourhood and jobs to the people that doesn’t have one, but these are short-term effects. On the long-term period, having a mall filled with shops, maybe discos and pubs and a parking lot would have very bad consequences that for sure weren’t considered when this development was proposed. 

First of all, the little shops from our neighbourhood would become obsolete compare to the mall, resulting in the closing of many of them. Another consequence, this one in a long-term period, would be the increase of pollution and noise due to the people coming in and out from the mall and the cars, and taking into consideration the current problem of climate change, cutting trees to construct a mall wouldn’t be appropriate at all.

To summarise, although the idea of having a mall would be have some advantages, it has many more disadvantages both in the short and the long-term. I would suggest building the mall outside the city, where it could be bigger, as nobody lives close, and too the noise and pollution would affect the population from our district or the one around us.

General feedback

Try to make the text more formal and avoid repeating words ("mall" for example has been used more than 5 times)