CPE Essay Sample 2017 Correction and Feedback

Dera Gustavo,

Here you will find two tasks I recently wrote as part of my practicing for the CPE, hope you can help me,

thanks so much

regards,

Patricia Landa.

Writing Paper Part 1. Task Type: Essay

Read the two texts below.
Write an essay summarizing and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible and include your own ideas in your answers.

Modals of Flexible Working Over recent years many companies have moved away from the notion of fixed working hours, following the standard nine-to-five, Monday-to-Friday pattern. There is far more provision today for staff to take advantage of flexible working opportunities of various kinds. With high-speed Internet connections available to many, home-working has become a practical option for companies and members of staff. This modal of flexible working has been particularly beneficial for staff working on projects that entail spending little time in the office. The introduction of formal job-sharing also benefits employees who wish to have a greater work-life balance, particularly those with young children. Finally, employees often have access to flexi-time, the chance to 'bank' hours by working overtime and 'withdrawing' hours when time off is needed.

Employer Concerns A recent survey of UK small-businesses discovered an underlying sense of disquiet about the issue of flexible working. Many companies feel under pressure to agree to requests out of fear they will be taken to court by their employee should they refuse. However, business advisers point out that employees have the right to request flexible working not the right to have it agreed. It might not be feasible for a company to agree to requests if the business depends on particular modals of operation, or if such a request would require significant change for a small business. As well as reassuring small businesses of their legal position, companies are also being encouraged to see flexible working as an opportunity rather than a threat. Experience shows it will often benefit both the company and its employees by having a positive impact on motivation and efficiency.

Write the essay. (around 240 - 280 words)

Answer:

Flexible working hours: A walk through the heavens or living hell?

(Feedback in red)

Working hours have been a serious matter along the years in our history, many people fought for their rights back in the 19^th century, and after many protests we no longer have to work more than eight hours daily, today technology is bringing within new ideas about when and where to work and some companies are taking into consideration provide their employees flexible working hours instead of the usual model, but this is also generating certain uneasiness among small companies which cannot afford the many changes these kind of requests may involve. 

(1. Check punctuation! Is it just one super long sentence? No full stops?

2. Is this the introduction? Why is it so long?)

As people grow, new responsibilities appear and these make life much more difficult to handle. Some people get married and have children, others get sick, or a disability strike them and they see all their world collapsing, however, flexible working hours have come as a solution for these many drawbacks in our society. The fact that fast internet connection is available in every corner of the world, makes it even easier for workers to develop their responsibilities from home, this allows them to take better care of their children, study another career, safe money and time for other activities which can enrich their lives and therefore make him or her more productive and motivated to work. (Feedback: I don't think this paragraph summarises the essence of text 1. I think text one is about companies, new technologies and flexible working hours. Why do you start with "As people grow..."? )

There are many advantages not only for the employees, but also for the employers, who can save a lot of money in paying for utility bills or even large offices rents; nevertheless some of them do not see this revolutionary idea as a real asset, many companies even feel threaten, since they fear that if they do not agree to these requests, they might be sued and had to face court, yet there are business advisors which are providing companies with information about flexible working hours and their regulations, so they can see them as an aid rather than a menace. (Check punctuation!)

There are different opinions whereas flexible working hours might benefit or diminish enterprise productivity but something is undoubtedly true about all of this revolution, it is a new workplace trend and it is here to stay. (But what do you think? Share your opinion)